T A B L E   P L A N N I N G   G U I D E

The single most difficult job on the wedding planning list!

This task is difficult for lots of reasons, including 

• How do you fit everyone in?
• How do you create a ‘day’ list and an ‘evening’ list?
• How do you make sure everyone is happy?

The answer to the last question is – you probably can’t!

Before even getting out your paper and pen make a promise to yourselves that this is YOUR DAY and you must do what feels right to you and what you want to see on your special day.

CHILDREN OR ADULTS ONLY?

This is entirely down to you both, you may feel your wedding day wouldn’t be complete without everyone from your family joining in and having fun or you may feel that an adults only party would ensure everyone can relax without having to appease little ones.

One thing is certain, however, if you do have children at your wedding, be sure to cater correctly for them (no smoked salmon for your 2 year old niece) and if you can, provide some sort of entertainment, perhaps sit them on one table with one responsible adult and let that be the ‘let rip’ table. You could think about a child entertainer or professional baby sitting firm who specialise in coming to your wedding and taking care of all the children – be sure to check any potential company out for references and licences.

DIVORCED PARENTS / UNHAPPY FAMILIES

Who doesn’t have at least one family member who perhaps isn’t on everyone’s Christmas card list? The best way to deal with family or friends who don’t get along is to keep them separate, talk to each party and see how they feel – some might be prepared to let things go for the sake of your special day but some might not be so willing. You must respect your guests and don’t force them into any uncomfortable situation (like forcing them to sit next to each other!)

Some couple decide to totally mix and match their guests – this is fine if you are sure you have all extremely outgoing guests who would all break the ice easily with strangers – if not it could mean your wedding breakfast is eaten in awkward silence!

You should try and sit families together and friends together, unless you know they don’t get along in which case separate them.

A good balance of male and female is always good and similar age groups would be useful.

TOP TABLE

 The top table tradition usually follows something like this:

Alternatively, for a circular table:

This isn’t set in stone but tradition dictates that the groom must sit on the brides right and the table should be male/female alternatively (if this isn’t practical try to include close friends or family to even up the table a little) and the partners of the chief bridesmaid and best man usually sit on other tables.

Another option is to have a round top table so no one feels as if they are on the end, this is useful if your bridal party is a little different or uneven.

If the bride or groom’s parents have divorced and remarried it probably isn’t a good idea to seat new partners on the top table – perhaps invite another member of that family up instead.

Another idea is to have unassigned seats – you could have a number of tables and perhaps set a certain group of people to this table but don’t make them sit at a certain position, that way they have some freedom as to where they sit on that table.

You could always have a ‘free for all’ table plan – where people sit wherever they like but this can be chaotic and might mean people are uncomfortable as to where they are ‘expected’ to sit and it might result in close family members being at the tables at the back if they are not quick enough to grab the best seats.

GUEST TABLES

It is a general rule of thumb that the closer the family are to the couple the closer they should sit to the top table. This is followed by friends then work colleagues.

This can be tricky as you might have an odd number of guests for a certain table, however round table shapes can help here as the number of people won’t matter – as opposed to rectangular tables where a smaller number on one side or someone without a partner to sit opposite might look out of place on the end of the line.

The best way to start your table plan is to speak to your venue, ask what table sizes and shapes they have and ask them to draw some example plans for you, that way you have a template to work from - this is far easier than trying to start from scratch, plus the venue will know what works well and what doesn’t, so follow their lead.

Another idea is to have a set number of tables and sit the main bridal party in the middle of these, that way you might not have the trouble of putting people at the back of the room and this way you’ll be able to mingle a bit better, although you will have your backs to some people so be aware of this.

Be warned your table plan can take months to organise, as people drop out or have specific requests, think about any less mobile or disabled guests, will they have easy access to the room and the table? Is there enough room for a wheelchair and are there adequate facilities for all your guests? Does the venue know of any special needs?

Therefore, start thinking about table plans once you have the majority of your invitations back that way you can get the basics done early on so all you will have to do is tweak it here and there (hopefully!).

Remember, you will need to know how many tables you will be having and in what arrangement fairly early on so that you can think about and order your table centre pieces and flower arrangements, etc,

Finally, you won’t be able to please everyone so go with your heart and do what you think would work best for the majority of your guests!

Information courtesy of  Isabella Weddings – Wedding and Event Planners