S P E E C H E S

The dreaded time for every husband to be has to be the speeches, we all remember standing up on your own about to read out loud to the rest of the class and then it happens … dry mouth … croaky voice ….. sweaty palms … you just want to run out of the room and hide in the broom cupboard.

Ok a bit drastic and it’s probably not a good idea to spend the best day of your life sharing a confined space with a vileda mop, but the thought of doing a speech can reduce grown men to tears, So here are a few ideas of how to reduce the stress and hopefully help you to deliver a speech to be proud of!

The early bird – why put off till tomorrow what you can do today is a good saying for many reasons, the thought of doing a speech can keep you in a state of panic for months, so why not get it out of the way now? Spend a whole weekend doing it if you have to but get it done then you can relax and enjoy the rest of the build up.

Write it down – as things pop into your head, jot them down and begin to form a sort of ‘things to be included’ list, that way you will have the content and all you need to do is add more detail to these items so that your guests will understand the story better.

Keep it brief – the best speeches are concise, full of content, emotional in parts and should contain some element of humour. A good speech should last no more than 5-10 minutes really. It is believed that most people will retain the very start and the ending of your speech, so try and end on a thoughtful or funny note – that way everyone should remember that bit if nothing else!

Practice – spend a certain amount of time on your initial draft then print it off and read it to yourself, does it make sense? Does it flow well from one anecdote to the next? Then once you are happy with it, read it to someone totally impartial, ask a work colleague or a trusted neighbour – this might sound strange but half of the people at your wedding won’t know much about your relationship and therefore it is vital to explain stories well so that you make sense.

There are traditional reasons for your speech as well, there are people who you should include and thank, the usual order of speeches follows something like this …

 THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE

• Welcome all the guests to the wedding, on behalf of your wife and yourself. Making special reference to the groom’s family.
• Thank them for coming to help you celebrate the wedding of your daughter.
• Tell them about your daughter - skills, abilities, achievements, character, and reminiscences. It is common for there to be gentle teasing.
• Tell them about your new son in law - skills, abilities, achievements, character, and reminiscences. Perhaps more gentle teasing?
• Toast the Bride and Groom. "So, ladies and gentlemen, family and friends let us raise our glasses and join together in wishing them every happiness. I give you the toast of the Bride and Groom, ... And ... May God bless them.

THE BRIDEGROOM

• Thank the Bride's father for proposing the toast.
• Thank him for the wedding feast (if appropriate). Thank him for his kindness and friendship
• Thank him for his daughter.
• Thank the guests for their good wishes, and for coming.
• Thank everyone for their gifts.
• Thank your 'new' wife for marrying you!
• Thank the Bridesmaids who have helped your wife through the day. Comment on their charm & beauty. - not too much, though, as you may make your new wife jealous!
• As well as the traditional thank you's the Groom may wish to add a few words about how he met his wife, activities they share etc. Gentle teasing is allowable.
• Toast the Bridesmaids "Ladies and gentlemen, will you join me in drinking the toast of 'The Bridesmaids' - thank you.

THE BEST MAN

The Best Man speaks On behalf of the Bridesmaids (and other helpers - ushers etc), and thanks the Groom for his toast. He also:

• Toasts the Parents "I should like to add to the thanks to the parents which (Bridegroom) has already expressed on this wonderful occasion. I ask you to join me in drinking the toast of 'The Parents'"
• In addition to these two 'official' components. The Best Man's speech usually includes various anecdotes about the Bride and Groom. Again it is common for there to be gentle teasing.
• Telegrams, cards and emails may be read out from people who were not able to attend

Finally some do’s and don’ts …

DO ensure everyone in the bridal party has been included in some way and their input acknowledged

DON’T talk about money except to thank those who contributed in a special way maybe

DO include nice short stories

DON’T include anything about ex’s , bedroom talk, embarrassing stories or anything likely to upset or offend

DO comment on the guests from far a field

DON’T say anything that might be construed as racist, derogatory or bad taste

 
And most importantly the top 5 NEVER’S!!!

Never swear

Never comment on the bride and grooms relationship or private matters

Never talk about money

Never talk about past relationships

Never get drunk!