T Y P E S   O F   C E R E M O N Y

When you announce your intended wedding many people conjure up images of a beautiful church full of fresh flowers with a choir singing in full volume as you enter the long impressive aisle. Nowadays, however, as fashions change and laws have become a little easier, you can choose to get married in many different places and with relative freedom.

Our American cousins still have the upper hand when it comes to total freedom of choice, their law dictates that the official person marrying you is the licensed person (and not the venue) meaning you can choose almost anywhere to say your vows, be it a beach, cliff top or someone’s back garden.

In the UK, however, the law is slightly different as it is the venue that is licensed rather than the person holding the service.

Although with that said, you can still have a service almost anywhere (the cliff top is still an option) but the service won’t be legally binding unless it is held in a licensed venue so you will still need to hold an official ceremony to make your marriage legal (this can always be held in your local registry office).

So here’s a brief guide to some common ceremonies…
(these are short guidelines and examples, there may be other options to consider and some faiths may have other specific requirements not listed)

CHURCH OF ENGLAND SERVICE

Held in a CofE church, this is a service lasting approx. 45 minutes during which a vicar or religious representative will conduct your ceremony, the congregation will sing hymns if chosen and you may be able to exchange personal vows (although you will have to agree these with your minister). The vicar may offer preparatory wedding ‘lessons’ in which you will have chance to discuss what your marriage means to you and what you can expect of each other.

You will be expected to have attended or willing to attend the church on occasion, to show your support and commitment to faith, although a strict religious following is not always requested. You will not usually be allowed to marry in a church outside of the parish you live in unless you are a regular religious worshiper in that church, however do discuss your wishes with your minister.

This summer the laws are expected to relax slightly and may allow couples to get married in any church of their choice, provided they fall within certain requirements.

Divorced couples are usually welcomed, however do talk to your minister as some still have slightly different policies.

Single sex couples are not yet allowed to marry in church.

You will need to have ‘banns’ read, this is an announcement of your intention to marry read out in the church of your choice as well as in the churches in the parishes in which you both live if these are different to your chosen church. This gives anyone the opportunity to object to your marriage. Banns must be read out for 3 Sundays during the 3 months prior to your wedding date.

Civil Ceremony

This non religious service is much shorter than a church service, usually lasting around 20-25 minutes – although couples can add music and readings in order to lengthen it. As well as registry offices there are now many alternative venues which are licensed to hold civil ceremonies and a list of these are available at your local registry office (or by searching the internet / local press).

Couples can marry anywhere in the UK in a licensed venue and the registry office relevant to this venue will be able to assist with booking and guidelines for holding a ceremony. Couples will need to book the venue and a registrar separately and fees will be payable to both.

Couples are free to wear anything they wish and they usually have free reign to music and reading choice (providing they are not religious).

Couples must give notice of marriage to your local registry office at least 15 days prior to the requested wedding date (in Scotland you must give notice between 3 months and 15 days prior to the wedding date). You must have lived in that district for at least 7 days prior to giving notice.

You will need to provide 2 witnesses to sign your marriage register on the day.

Civil Partnership Ceremony

This is a non religious service similar to a civil ceremony but for single sex partners. In December 2005 the civil partnership act began to enable single sex partners to register as civil partners to each other.

The service is slightly shorter but you will have chance to say a set of words and may be able to include some special words of your own choice as well as music and readings.

Catholic Ceremonies

If both bride and groom are practising catholic then holding a ceremony in their usual church will be straightforward, however permission is required by the priest (of the catholic partner) to agree for the marriage to take place. Banns are still produced but it is not a legal requirement in a catholic wedding.

It is very difficult for divorced couples to re marry; divorce is not recognised yet by the catholic church therefore only a small number of priests may allow a re-marriage to take place and even then only under exceptional circumstances.

Pre-wedding meetings will take place (called Pre Cana) between the priest and the couple, during which they will talk about many issues, such as thoughts on children, money, the future etc.

Couples will chose to either have a ceremony with mass which lasts around an hour or without mass which is much shorter.

Jewish Ceremony

Jewish weddings can be a very confusing topic so we have listed below some short guidelines to give you an idea of how the Jewish faith celebrates marriage. In earlier times Jewish weddings were arranged by the parents with the help of a Yenta and the groom had to pay a Dowry to secure the engagement to his bride, after having gained permission from the bride’s father.

Rituals begin once the couple are engaged with the Tena’im – the breaking of a plate - to symbolise the destruction of the temples of Jerusalem, showing that respect and sadness is still with them even at this happy time in their lives. This ritual is similar to the glass breaking at the actual wedding.

Weddings cannot take place during daylight hours on a Saturday or on any major Jewish festivals. Ceremonies do not tend to take place during the time between Passover and Shavuot as many people refrain from attending parties with music or dancing.

A week before the wedding a special ceremony is held for the groom, called a Ufruf, during which he will visit the synagogue and announce his wedding to the congregation. The groom is often showered with sweets and will join in with a feast after the service, also held in the synagogue.

A private celebration lunch will then follow involving both families.

The bride in the meantime will visit a ritual bath known as a Mikveh, during which she will cleanse herself spiritually, allowing her to enter the marriage pure. This ritual is supervised to ensure it is conducted correctly. The bride must remove all traces of make up, nail polish and jewellery.

Tradition states that the couple should not see each other during the week before the wedding, although this rule is somewhat relaxed now.

The ceremony takes place under a Chupa – a material canopy which symbolises the couples future home together, and a Rabbi must be present – not necessarily to perform the ceremony but they must supervise at the very least. When the bride arrives at the Chupa she will encircle her groom several times, sometimes up to seven times – this is a symbol of building walls of their future home.

The couple traditionally fast on their wedding day to symbolise cleansing of sins and starting afresh and the ceremony begins with the signing of the wedding contract. Many men can also sign to state they will not contest a Get (a Jewish Divorce) should the couple later separate. During the ceremony the groom will cover the brides face with a veil – symbolising his promise to cloth her and protect her in their marriage.

The ring is an important part of a Jewish wedding ceremony, it must belong to the groom and not be borrowed and it must be plain without stones or decoration.

During the ceremony the couple will drink the first of seven glasses of wine which they will then end the ceremony by breaking the glass on the floor (under the groom’s foot!) – for many men this could be the last time they get the chance to put their foot down!

Information courtesy of  Isabella Weddings – Wedding and Event Planners